In today’s high tech world a lot of what we do can be captured on iphones, cameras and other recording devices. Hence the explosion of viral videos about children who throw epic tantrums in public places, TV shows featuring children versus their parents and more. Some say this increase is because of the influence they get from people surrounding the child, others say it’s because of the wrong upbringing or children get worse when they know that parents are watching and think it’s funny then attempt to discipline the bad behavior.
Whatever the reasons are, we could all agree that exercising the right way of discipline will help develop the child’s knowledge of right and wrong, ease the stress by the parents and strengthen your relationship with your child. However starting while they’re still young (toddler), is key.
Here is a list of easy, simple and fun ways to discipline your child, without them even knowing it:
Cleaning up their own Mess
Children love to create mess around them however they hate to tidy up. Especially if they felt like it’s a job for them to do. We all wish we could snap our fingers like Mary Poppins and click it all away…
If you asked them to clean their toys and they say “no” - let them be, give them at few short minutes to forget what you asked for, then ask them again to clean up their toys. If they still say no, ask them to find their most valued toy (that is out of sight), and then tell your child that in order for the toy to come out, other toys must be arranged in their proper places.
After they tidy up, play with them with that special toy as a simple token of appreciation. Little by little, explain to them the importance of being neat. So the next time they play, they will know that tidying up is part of play time.
Decision and Solution
Parents don't usually give their child the freedom to decide for themselves and/or do their own solution. Well, this might be the safest way to keep your child secure, but they also need to feel that they can do things on their own.
Start small, like letting them decide what they want to wear. The catch is, preparing before letting them choose. This is a bit tricky as the parents need to prepare. Lay the clothes on the bed first and arrange it. Allowing them to decide what to put on will make them more happy and comfortable with what they’ll wear. You can even put out 2 t-shirts or dresses so they can decide which one they want to wear.
Just be there to guide them with their decisions and solutions. This will boost your child’s self-esteem and will make them realize how much you trust them.
Ask, not Whine
They often whine about things they like, they think that it will be given to them immediately because as adults we don’t want to deal with the noise.
As parents, be an example to your kids. Do not whine about anything, especially when they’re present. If they whine, scream and throw up a tantrum, don’t try to tame them. Be sure that you have their attention and just look at them straight in the eyes, with a calm voice, tell the child that you’d only listen and comply if they tell you what they want and ask you nicely for it.
This will teach them respect not just for others, but also for themselves.
Divert and Avoid
Because children are imaginative, they tend to be easily distracted with eye candies. Those of which feed their eyes and satisfy it.
If your child constantly throws toys, you can just give a bouncy toy - (ball) it will never break when thrown. Use this opportunity to exercise his motor skills. Attach a basketball net screwed on wall for him to enjoy it more.
When shopping, avoid going pass the lollies and toy stores, unless you really plan on buying them what they want.
Remember when you were still young and you picked whether you’ll go to your mum or your dad for something? This is because you would weigh up the authority they had and you would measure the possibility of a YES answer depending on who you’ll approach.
Be lenient but be strong with rules. Be playful but be consistent with the Dos and Don’ts. Like, you can let them play around while eating but make sure that they finish their food in time. Or allow them to watch tv but they need to finish their homework first.
The key for your children to value your authority, is for you to let them feel that they can approach you whenever, wherever with whatever.
Time outs and Rewards
We can prevent shouting wars with children just by simply telling them to stop yelling at each other. But when the shouting war is between (you) the parent and the child, that’s a different story.
If you came to a point where your child start shouting because you’ve been triggered to shout as well, try to calm down and tell you child to face the corner or sit on the couch for a time-out. If you have more than one child, tell them not to go near the child in time-out until it’s finished.
Also, put yourself into time-out for your children to see that even you, as a parent is not excused for a moment of bad behaviour. Give them rewards whenever they’ve done a good job. No matter how small.
Disciplining your child is not all about spanking, strong words and all, it could also be fun and engaging. Understanding how your child responds to tasks, discipline and love will always be the best way to have a healthy relationship with your children. Be the best role model and you’ll never have a discipline problem.